Party Like It’s 1983

I have a problem. It’s not a constant problem, it’s just a sometimes problem. I have a problem with moderation. Of course it isn’t a problem with exciting things like illegal drugs or alcohol oh no no no. I have a difficult time putting on my brakes when it comes to coffee consumption. Or buying socks. Or the one that happens the most, I have a hard time telling myself when I’ve eaten too much cheese in one sitting. Is there a thing as too much cheese? My mind and taste buds say no, but my nausea says yes, yes there is such a thing as too much cheese.

And I know this. This is one of the very first lessons I learned in life. When I was 4 years old, I didn’t want to eat whatever my mother had made for dinner. She was tired of arguing with me so she said, “Fine. Make your own dinner.” So, considering that I was FOUR and not cooking yet, I looked in the fridge to see what there was that I liked. I liked cheese. So I ate half a brick of Monterey Jack cheese. To top it off, I had 3 orange Push-Ups.

So……I vomited violently and for the whole night. I remember this very well and yet my mass consumption of cheese this evening shows that I didn’t learn my lesson. The siren’s song of cheese is just too tempting.

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