Feelin’ Out of Place

Well, I’ve been back in LA for 5 months now and it’s safe to say that I will never be an LA girl. This isn’t saying I’m moving away any time soon or anything like that, it’s just that I will always be a San Francisco girl no matter where I go. For example:

I walk here. I can go the whole week without driving because everything, including my job, is within walking distance of my apartment. People don’t walk in LA. There’s even a song about it. But in SF, we walk, we bike, we take public transit, and some fuckers even unicycle, but I won’t talk about them.

The restaurants still use¬†Styrofoam containers. SERIOUSLY!!! I don’t eat out as much because the take-away containers are Styrofoam. Pretty soon, I’m gonna be that guy that brings his own containers to the restaurants to take home my leftovers. Or worse, I’m going to be that guy who asks for less food. Can you not give me American-size portions? I’m not eating for 3.

Dating in SF, for me, was not work. It was as easy as breathing (and sometimes easier, given that I have asthma). Dating in LA has proven itself to be work. But don’t you worry, I’ve figured out the problem and I’ve made a simple chart to explain it:

Also, another dating problem, for me, is that people in the entertainment business are ubiquitous. I do not want to date anyone in entertainment because I DO NOT FIND YOU ENTERTAINING. I don’t care about your screenplay. No, I don’t want to see your goddamned headshot on your OkCupid profile. And we all know that if you’re a stand-up comedian you had a fucked-up childhood so nooooo thank you!

I need a drink.

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