Our neighbor is learning piano

Our downstairs neighbor is learning piano. I took piano lessons on and off, sometimes for fun, sometimes as a requirement for my undergrad minor. In college I worked as the piano lab monitor. The sounds of beginner’s piano are not foreign to me.

(Sounds of piano)
Me: Oh lord. It’s the short bus version of Swan Lake again.
Cole: In about 20 years you’re going to have to hear this all over again when I try to learn how to play.
Me: You and me both, sister.
(Pianist has switched to a new song, the Alfred Hitchcock theme)
Me: OH FUCK ME BACKWARD! THEY WERE SO CLOSE TO GETTING IT RIGHT!
Cole: Calm down.
Me: Get your shit together, people!
Pause.
Me: So happy to not have children. It’s for the best.

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