Cancun 2016

Oh wow, it’s been almost 3 weeks and I’m just now sitting down to tell you about Cancun.

We went for 6 days for a wedding at the Moon Palace Resort. If you have never been to an all-inclusive resort and you are able to I recommend that you do so at least once in your life. It was AMAZING. The staff were super kind and patient and it was absolutely gorgeous down there. Someone close to me goes down to the Yucatan every year for vacation and now I understand why. Usually when we get home from a vacation we’re pooped and ready to be home. We sincerely were not ready to come back to CA after this trip.

The resort had 14 main restaurants as well as smaller taco bars and outdoor pizza ovens and I have no idea how many bars. It was so great to be able to walk around with nothing but our room key. No wallets, no phones. So nice.

Getting there was quite the adventure, as the TSA at LAX decided to pull me aside, give me a full pat down, and unpack all of my carry ons. But, I’m brown, so this sort of bullshit is a part of life in America.

As soon as we got off the shuttle at the resort, staff greeted us with cold, wet face towels because it was hot and muggy and we’d been traveling. When we walked inside and were in line to check in, another staff member came up to us and took our drink order. OUR DRINK ORDER, YOU GUYS! WE GOT MARGARITAS WHILE WE STOOD AROUND AND CHECKED IN. All I could think is, “Is this real life right now?”

We shared a room with Cole’s younger siblings (ages 20 and 16) which was fine, we didn’t intend to be hanging around in the room much anyway. Our first full day we spent quite a while setting up and arranging for our excursions. I also went to the spa and had a full body massage which was lovely.

The following day we got up at 5am to get ready to go swim out in the ocean with whale sharks. At about 5:45a we got a phone call that our excursion was cancelled due to inclement weather. We were both super bummed. The whale shark encounter only happens 3 months out of the year. We agreed we would try again someday because it was something we both really wanted to do. So, the kids were off swimming with dolphins, manatees, and sea lions so we had the day to ourselves around the resort. We filled the hours with tacos and alcohol. There was one bar that I was enchanted by. It was out by one of the pools and it was a large square covered by a thatched roof. The seats around the edges were swings instead of stools. So, we went and grabbed a couple of swings and drank and drank. No phones or electronics of any time. Just some booze and chatting and then it got exciting because a monstrous storm came upon us. We were under the roof so we were good at first. People were jumping out of the pools and grabbing all their things and huddling near the bar. But then the winds came and it started blowing sideways at our backs. At one point, a man across the bar pointed at me and said, “Look at her! Someone take a picture!” because the wind was whipping my hair into a frenzy and I probably looked liked Dark Phoenix. Okay, likely not that cool but you get the picture. We were both in bathing suits so we didn’t care that our backs were getting soaked. The bartenders started bringing us drinks without our asking. They knew there was no way we were walking back to our room during this storm. This was probably the simplest day of our vacation but it was definitely my favorite.

Sunday was the day of the wedding! It was crazy storming outside again so instead of on the beach, the wedding was held in a gazebo surrounded by glass. It was short and sweet. Women were asked to wear blue so I used that as an excuse to get more clothes from Pinup Girl Clothing. Sidenote: I’m madly in love with their high-waisted shorts and peasant tops. Sunday night after the Brazilian BBQ extravaganza I wrote about here, we changed our clothes and went walking around the resort and stumbled upon karaoke. If for some reason this blog post is the first blog post of mine you’ve ever read you may not know that I fucking LIVE for karaoke. Cole’s sister got up and sang “My Hump” and did a damn fine job. Then I got up and did Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats” and apparently made myself a fan club because for the next two days, I was stopped no less than 3 times by people saying, “Are you Patricia? I heard you do karaoke! You were amazing!” One woman even yelled at me from her balcony/patio as she chain smoked. She let me know that she’s from Tennessee and loves Carrie Underwood and the song I sang was her favorite. It was hilarious and great.

The day after the wedding we went on our Xtreme eXcursion! We went to Tulum, the only Mayan ruins that are on the ocean. It was a very warm, very sunny day and the ruins were awesome and there were fat fat fat iguanas everywhere. We also saw a little vine snake. Unfortunately didn’t get a picture of it. I was just too happy to see it and he was moving along pretty quickly.

After the tour of Tulum we went and had lunch, then hopped on ATVs. Cole and I decided to share one. I tried to take video from the back but then I realized I should maybe hold on for my life. That was pretty fun but it was rough on the body. Then we got to do the part which we were both really excited about: snorkeling in a cenote. You can click on the link if you want to learn more, but the short of it is that a cenote is an underground cave filled with fresh, cool, clear water. There are over 8,000 cenotes in Mexico and they are connected via underground rivers (or so we were told). We walked down a sketchy staircase into the cenote and I had to keep from screaming with excitement because there were bats! Flying around! Like, a few feet from me!!! I love bats so much. One of the people in our group was uncomfortable and the guide said, “Oh don’t worry, those are fruit bats.” I did the right thing and didn’t call him out on his LIE. THOSE ARE NOT FRUIT BATS, SIR. THOSE BATS EAT BUGS. The stalactites were pretty low (one guy smacked his head pretty good) and the water was cool but not unpleasant. We were only down there for about 15 minutes but I could have stayed down there at least an hour. The ancient Mayans believed that the cenotes were the entrances to the underworld and I saw why. They were beautiful, magical, and amazing.

While not all the food at the resort were winners (room service food was disgusting. The mozzarella sticks were made out of cheddar. And the Caribbean restaurant was terrible), I did have some of the best tacos of my life. I also had Mayan food for the first time. There are two nice restaurants there with dress codes that, while they are included, you still need to make reservations. One was the Mayan restaurant. I have two words for you: COCHINTA PIBIL. If you ever see it on a menu, eat it. You’re welcome in advance. There was a woman sitting 10 feet away from us making the tortillas. The server literally picked up a basket of hot tortillas, walked a few steps to our table, and handed it to us. I ate one whole basket myself and I’m not even sad about it.

FYI the three really good photos of the cenote below were not taken by us. I just wanted to include them because they are so much better than what we got.

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