A Year of Daily Check-ins

If you aren’t connected with me on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter, you may not know that I do daily check-ins with everyone who can see the post.

I did my first daily check-in a year +3 days ago.

It started as a response to the results of the 2016 U.S. Presidential Election. It has continued because the world has continued to be bullshit. Every day, I pose the question, “How’s everyone doing?” and moderate the comments to maintain it as a safe space for everyone who responds.

When I started, and it started on Facebook, I would include an update of how I was feeling that day. As the months went on, I started to leave out how I was doing because more and more people would comment on how I was doing than to check-in with how THEY were doing, which was my point. I will always respond in the comments, if anyone asks. Sometimes people do. Sometimes people do not. Both are fine. Many people have sent me private messages saying they don’t want to respond publicly, but they still use it to check-in with themselves each day to see where they are at.

I have learned a few things after doing this for the majority of 368 days:

  • Just because no one is replying doesn’t mean that people aren’t listening. Or appreciative.
  • It’s just as important to share the good as well as the bad, and vice versa.
  • Having this medium-scale check-in and maintaining a safe space is A LOT of emotional labor. I am paid in gratitude and community so I continue to do it. If I ever feel like it is more work than is healthy, I will stop. But for now, it feels good to feel appreciated.
  • Sometimes people will respond to a check-in who literally never respond to anything else I post and that makes me smile.
  • It’s important to ask people how they are doing and care. Sometimes people, people like me, won’t share things unless they’re asked. I’m mostly an open book, but I don’t turn my own pages. I’ve learned I know many people who are similar.
  • I’ve gotten a strange sense of purpose and responsibility from doing this. It’s not unpleasant or oppressive but it’s like, I’m doing my own little bit of good in my own tiny circle of the internet.

If you have the spoons, try to check in with your people more. I’m not saying you have to do it daily, like I do, or even publicly or as widely-spread as I do. But text your friends. Call your family. Have a deliberate check-in with your partner(s) and adult children, if you have any. Think about posting a weekly check-in. Or maybe one at the end of each month. Whatever you decide, don’t forget to check-in with yourself often. And drink some water.

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