Handy Lifehack re: Unwanted Visitors

During our Thanksgiving celebration yesterday, Cole’s cousins were telling us about the road trip they took over the summer.

Cousin: “In Utah, I was in a Starbucks for only 2 minutes before a Mormon came up to me and was trying to preach to me.”

Me: “That’s because you were in Utah IN A STARBUCKS. If you’re drinking coffee, ahem, the Devil’s juice, then obviously you needed to be saved.”

Cousin: “He wouldn’t leave me alone. I was trying to explain to him that I already go to church.”

Uncle: “I had to go pull [cousin] away.”

Aunt: “I remember when Mormons came to our door during March Madness. They asked me to turn off the TV because it was too tempting. I was offended that they found basketball more tempting than this.” <gestures to her gorgeous self>

Cole: “They never come to our door. NEVER.”

Me: “That’s because I paint the door frame with Coca-Cola so the Mormons pass-over.”

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1 Response

  1. Paul says:

    I realized many years ago that I tended to just assume that people raised in religions other than Christianity were more observant. If I met a Jew or, more rarely, a Moslem, I just assumed a level of piety and engagement with the tenets of their religion than I assumed for Christians. Same with Mormons. In my mind, back-sliding was evidently something only Christians and particularly Catholics did.

    I was therefore genuinely shocked late one evening at my law firm when a senior associate I was working with popped open a Coke. He was a Mormon (did his mission work in Ecuador, attended BYU, had 4 kids by the age of 32, etc.) and here he was chugging down a Coke like it weren’t no thing.

    He saw me looking at him kind of wide-eyed and said, “You know, there are coffee shops within walking distance of BYU.”

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